...is hard. Extremely hard. Your feelings are going to be thrown all over, you try to gather them in place but while you're not done with that yet, it's going to be thrown all over once again.
You will like a certain Jr.
At first, it might be that you're only interested in him.
Your favorite Jr. gets to be in a unit.
You will watch the unit.
You will watch the unit more and more.
You will start having interest for the other members too.
You will start liking the other members too.
You will like the group so much.
You will love the group so much.
You will think you'd want to follow that group forever.
You will cherish the group so much.
The agency will decide to mess with the members.
You can do nothing but continue hoping (and crying while you're at it).
It will hurt.
It will be painful.
You won't know what to do.
This is what happened to me.
I have been in Johnnys fandom for 6 years, not that long compared to others I know. My time as an active Jr. fan is even shorter, it has only been a year, so I'm new with this heartbreak that the Jr. fandom brings. I never had to deal with this heartbreak before because Arashi and Hey! Say! JUMP are already debuted when I became a fan, though there were still heartbreaks when they had issues and stuff, that was only occasional. In the Jr. fandom, (lately) it's just almost every other day that I get a heartbreak.
I'd like to continue watching them shine.
I'd like to see how they will grow more.
But, I think my heart might be too weak for the Jr. fandom.
I am so emotional when it comes to my idols, and I have been crying night and day ever since they stopped putting my favorite Jr. with his group. When I say I cry, I cry. I'm not just saying it so I would sound dramatic here. If anything, I would even want to know how can I avoid crying because it's really unhealthy for me emotionally that I've been crying everyday.
Seriously, someone please help this shattered fan.